i cybered on omegle today

  • You: hi
  • Stranger: hey
  • You: wanna cyber
  • Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
  • You: ya
  • Stranger: And okay then, you start?
  • You: i come into ur bedroom
  • You: and ur sleeping
  • You: and i crawl under your blanket
  • Stranger: I'm still asleep
  • You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
  • You: and u wake up and smile
  • Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
  • You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
  • You: cutting off your penis
  • Stranger: wait
  • You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
  • Stranger: Then what...?
  • You: I HATE YOU
  • Stranger: I didn't cheat
  • You: you bleed to death in your bed
  • Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
  • You: nobody ever knows what happened
  • You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
  • You: the end
  • Stranger: I have a mercedes?
  • You: not anymore faggot
  • Your conversation partner has disconnected.

(via cheesedragon)

  • gatsby: hey i just met you
  • gatsby: and this is crazy
  • gatsby: but i'm going to spend most of my life and wealth in an attempt to pursue you for your stunning vapidness and the warped image of yourself created in my mind as a precursor to my eventual fall
  • gatsby: so call me maybe

staceythinx:

Japanese artist Mika Aoki uses the ethereal quality of glass to get us to look differently at subjects like viruses, reproduction and the origins of life.

(via notthenoviceyouarelookingfor)

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Title: Smack That, Snape 378,570 plays

lolsofunny:

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(via david)

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The Titanic theme played on the recorder.

(via jaaaninejorge)